Going to go job hunting with one of my friends. I need extra money to buy this dress that I really fucking adore <3 Hopefully by the time school starts I’ll have the money c:
I just don’t want a job where I have to
constantly talk to people or else I’ll be a cranky bitch but, that’s every job isn’t it? Fuck. I think I’m aiming to get a job at Kmart, Pet supermarket, Hot topic, Or a fast food restaurant :/ Ugh.. I just don’t want to be around food!
I’m abusing the medication my psychologist gave me. I didn’t mean too but, it seems like the mount he want’s me to take isn’t enough sometimes. So, lately I’ve been carrying around the pills with me and whenever I feel suicidal or have unbearable anxiety I take
three of my anti- depressants and four of my anti anxiety pills. I know it’s a lot but it’s the right amount to calm me down and make me smile.
I need this and it seems to be making me feel better about myself now c:
A - If I’m in love.
B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.
C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.
D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.
E - How many holes I have in my ears.
F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’
G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.
H - The last person I hugged.
I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.
J - How old I am.
K- What my full name is.
L - If I have siblings.
M - If I forgive betrayal.
N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.
O - If I like my school.
P - What kind of music I like.
Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.
R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.
S - 2 habits.
T- 5 things I love unconditionally.
U - How many texts I send daily.
V - 3 big dreams.
W - An idol.
X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.
Y - If I like my town and why.
Z - Ask any question you want.
I have Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder, and terrible Anxiety…
I don’t understand how they can put up with me…
I was a child who only knew fear.
I was a child who cried many tears.
I was a child who searched for a reason.
I was a child who was betrayed by you to even.
I was a child who was born into a world.
I was a child who had to grow up fast.
I was a child who witnessed many tragedies.
I was a child who went through her own tragedies.
Now I’m a teenager lost in this world.
Now I’m a teenager with lots of nightmares.
Now I’m a teenager easy to abandon.
Now I’m a teenager self harming like a mad man.
Now I’m a teenager crying from the past.
Now I’m a teenager worrying about what happened.
Now I’m a teenager scared to live on.
Now I’m a teenager figruering out I had been done wrong.
I never had a childhood,
I never knew love,
I never had family,
I never really bugged.
I want to be happy,
it is what I seek for in life,
But, those are stupid things to wish for in this life….
I’m glad I have people here who want to help me. It’s nice to know i can count on them if I need help but, sometimes… It’s best to just keep to myself and let people move on with their lives. They have their own problems… I don’t want to add on any more stress to their lives. That wouldn’t be good for either of us <3