You only live this life ONCE.

My first love compared to the love I have right now is so incredibly different. With my first love I was a virgin to everything. I didn’t know what love was, or what an anniversary was, or what you where suppose to do in a relationship; I was so clueless. I learned everything so fast and it hit me so hard. The love I had for the guy was emotional and just passionate. He broke my heart though and didn’t give a shit. He was addicted to drugs and addicted to love or to the thought of love. After we had broke up I was broken to shreds. I went into a deep depression that i couldn’t bring myself out of without intense therapy. Then a few months later I meet my previous bf. Everything was different I had scars and a shattered heart. I was scared to move on cause I was still hoping and waiting for my fiirst love to come back to me. My relationship with my previous bf is so different. I say I love him but I’m not sure if I do. Love is so confusing to me and I’m afraid I will never love like I did the first time so, how do I know that I’m in love now? I’ve been with my previous bf for four months now and im still confused on what we have. We almost had a baby by accident but nothing happened  so i found out i was just reproductively challenge maybe because of all the meds I get drugged up on now to keep me from falling apart. All i know is that all my feelings are out of whack and I don’t know myself anymore. Eveything is a big blur.

Im pregnant <3 I’ve never been so happy in my life! I still can’t believe it! I’m hopinh and praying ill be a good mom :3 Omgosh <33333 I haven’t had any depressed episodes and have been eating just fine :3 better then ever! I’m just wanting to be healthy for me and my baby from now on <3

Does anybody live in Florida? And if you do, do you live near Tampa or Orlando? Please message me if you do :P I really need a place to crash at tomorrow. Thanks ppls xoxo.

I decided to become a vegetarian :P Either that or go to the psychiatric ward for observation on my eating habits. I have a new way of self harming… Causing myself to put bruises on my body… How? Well… Um…. I bite myself :P Idk it’s a new way to cause myself pain.

I feel really sad and just need people to take my mind off the thoughts I’m having right now.

 My head hurts, my ears hurt, My chest hurts, My stomach hurts, I’m feeling Dizzy…. Just stop YELLING. Please god, make him STFU or make me deaf.

So, Guess who is almost to a complete flat stomach? ME! and guess who has really bad chest pains and is always dizzy when walking around…. also me :/